Reflections: The Beginning of My Return

By Nina, Transformational Mindset Coach

Every post in Reflections becomes a soul map — not backwards, but inward. Not a memory, but a message.

For a long time now, I’ve wanted to start a blog.

Why? Good question. One I asked myself over and over again—as a form of procrastination, let’s be honest—for months.

I love to write, and I believe I have something to say. 

Actually, I know I do. 

I have quite a lot to say.

And over the next few days, months, and years, I’ll do my best to fill the world with what I have to say because—

“I was taught to be silent. Now I am teaching myself to speak.”

Big statement, huh? It rattles me every time I read it—and believe me, I’ve been holding onto that one for a long time.

But before we dive into all of that, I need to take a small step back. Because for you to really get something out of this, I need to set the scene.

Taking the time to 'sit' with where we are right now is the most powerful moments we can have.

The Procrastination Prelude

So—I wanted to do a blog. 

However (because I’m trying not to say but), I wanted it to be different. Like me. Out of the box. Not just your standard, everyday blog.

Thinking about what to call it joined the Procrastination Train as I parked the idea and waited for the creative juices to flow. 🚂

I couldn’t see the forest for the trees as I spent time reflecting on my life, searching for the perfect name.

Then it suddenly dawned on me:

 It was about Reflection

What I was really doing was looking back at my life—at the times I had to embrace courage, speak truth, and grow into the woman I am now. This blog isn’t just a collection of thoughts. It’s the return to me.

Time and time again, people who knew my story — or were hearing it for the first time — would ask me:

“What did you do? How did you change your life?”

And honestly? I didn’t know how to answer.

Back then, it wasn’t about transformation. It was about survival.

I wasn’t following some grand plan — I was just putting one foot in front of the other, hoping the ground wouldn’t disappear beneath me.

Until I started to believe in myself, everything I did was just motion.

From the outside, it might’ve looked like I was achieving things.

But inside? My true self — the real me — was still tangled in the noise.

Pulled in every direction by other people’s voices, expectations, and shoulds.

I was still lost in the mess.

Procrastination is another way of keeping us safe from the unknown, the unfamiliar. It keeps us warmly tucked up in our comfort zones and gives us a false sense of achievement.

The Turning Point

Today, something shifted.

It wasn’t loud. 

There were no fireworks. No lightning bolts. 

But it was big. Life-changing, even.

It happened during a quiet moment in a card reading—a practice I return to often and never take for granted. A deeper truth, long held and long silenced, rose to the surface. And for the first time, I didn’t push it back down.

I listened.

What surfaced wasn’t just about today. It was about everything that came before.

Embracing truth through an Oracle Reading is profound. Remember that resistance is often a guardian at the door of something potent. It doesn’t always mean “no”—sometimes it means “this is tender” or “this is unfamiliar.”

The Truth of Silence

There were hard times in my life.

Times that tried to shut me down. 

Times that told me I was too much, too broken, too far gone. 

Times that stripped me of my sense of worth, purpose, and identity—until I barely recognised the woman in the mirror.

There was a time I couldn’t hear myself over the noise.

The opinions. 

The expectations. 

The echoes of trauma. 

They all spoke louder than the quiet truth whispering inside me.

For a long time, I mistook silence for strength. I thought keeping the peace was more important than speaking my truth.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

‘Silence might keep things looking calm on the surface, 

- but it doesn’t create peace inside you.'

That kind of peace—the real kind—begins the moment you find your voice and give yourself permission to use it.

Finding my voice wasn’t about becoming louder. 

It was about becoming clearer. 

It was about learning to listen to myself with compassion, and then learning how to speak from that place.

Forgive yourself for ever believing you had to be “pure,” “perfect,” or “palatable” to be worthy of voice, truth, or belonging.

The Symbol Emerges

Back to the card reading. The second card I pulled had a snake on it

In alchemy, the serpent is a powerful symbol:

- Shedding of the old skin

- Awakening of kundalini (life force) energy

- Transformation through truth

- And yes, sometimes deception—but only when we resist the change we’re being called into

I tucked that away in my mind.

Then later that morning, I was standing in our outdoor kitchen when the birds went wild—a full chorus of warning calls. I turned around and spotted her:

The biggest diamond python I’ve ever seen, slowly gliding toward the bus. Not threatening. Just present.

Two snakes in one day.

“If this snake was a messenger, what truth did it bring me?”

The Message Lands

What does it mean? Well, the diamond python—non-venomous, powerful, ancient—symbolises:

- Transformation 

- Inner wisdom 

- The shedding of old skin 

- Patience and presence 

- Facing what has long coiled in the shadows… not with fear, but with grace

I couldn’t help but laugh. When the universe wants you to hear something, it’s not subtle.

And here’s what I heard:

It’s time. 

To speak. 

To shed. 

To rise.

“I was taught to be silent. Now I am teaching myself to speak.”

From my Heart to Yours 💖

Maybe you’ve felt it too — that ache beneath the silence.

That sense that your voice is somewhere in there, waiting to be heard.

If any part of this reflection stirred something in you, I want you to know this:

You are not too far gone. You are not too much. And you are most certainly not alone.

We all begin somewhere. And often, we begin again.

This blog is my beginning again — a space where I’m learning to speak, reflect, unravel, and rise.

And I’d be honoured to walk alongside you as you begin to do the same.

✨ Your voice matters. Your story matters. You matter. ✨

If you're on your own journey to find your voice, I invite you to stay connected:

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Big love, always,

Nina 💖💜

Healing without a script. It’s transformation in its rawest, most luminous form.